I want to start out this blog post as I traditionally do, and give an update. Dax had a wonderful time on his Make-A-Wish trip. With Dax’s diagnosis he qualified for a rush wish, which means that his wish is fulfilled within 90 days of being granted. Our wish for Dax was to go to Florida – to be back on the beach, to hear the sound of the waves, feel sunshine, and a warm breeze. If Dax traveled well (which he did), we had a plan to take him to the Atlanta Aquarium on our way to FL, and to SeaWorld as a bonus if Dax was up to it after the long drive.
Dax traveled wonderfully, him and Bodie both were total rockstars in the car and we took the appropriate time we needed to stretch out our drive and rest along the way.
Our first day, we chipped off a few hours and stayed in St. Louis, we got the kids bundled up and took them (and Ozzie) out to a fun little district to be outside. Dax was smiley and cooing, Bodie was excited to run around everywhere, and Ozzie was pumped to be traveling again.
A kind woman stopped to ask if she could pet Ozzie — she shared with me that she once had an English Bulldog and we connected on that level and I shared with her some details about Dax. She was so genuine and loved meeting Dax. And planned to look for Dax’s book online.
Ozzie qualified to go along on the wish trip since he’s been trained in the past as a Pet Pal at Children’s Mercy. Ozzie has traveled with Dax since day 1, and it only felt right to take him with us. Frankie is not certified to be a therapy dog, so he went back to boarding school for a brief review.
On this trip I said multiple times something a long the lines of “we couldn’t have planned this day better” or “this day lined up perfectly”.
From STL we stopped in Atlanta for a couple of days. We knew after a long stretch Dax would need to rest. We had great weather in Atlanta – sunny, with a cool breeze, no humidity. It was perfect. We spent each day walking in the city and spent time at the park. Our hotel was across the street from the aquarium, we were able to walk there also! Bodie took pride in helping push his brother’s stroller and they both enjoyed seeing all of bright tropical fish, the dolphins, the whales, and the beautiful blue hues.
From Atlanta, we drove to Cocoa Beach. We got settled in our AirBNB, Dax rested some more, and he was in great shape to go to SeaWorld. Dax was smiley and his eyes were overall open a lot of the time. We got to the Orca Show extra early and found the most perfect seats. Dax loved the music during the show and Bodie’s mind was absolutely blown when he witnessed his first ever round of applause. He was so excited to join in on the clapping.
After SeaWorld, next on our itinerary was having a chill day. The boys slept in late, and we got around just in time to go to dinner on the beach. We went to a restaurant called Coconuts on the Beach – Bodie sat in a highchair for the first time, and Dax fell asleep peacefully to the sound of the waves and enjoyed the cool breeze from the ocean. And we had the best seats in the house to witness a rocket launch from SpaceX. We didn’t plan this but it was another day that “lined up perfectly”.
The next day, we had a beach day. Dax got his toes in the sand and dipped them in the Atlantic Ocean. We dedicated an entire day to be near the waves. We had lunch on the pier, Bodie jammed out to some Teddy Swims, and Dax cooed and smiled, and loved the breeze blowing through his hair. Dax was in his element and happy. Once again, Bodie took great pride in pushing his brother in his stroller down the pier.
I had our check out dates wrong in my mind on our AirBNB. I thought we had two more days but we actually only had one – so with having that extra day in mind, we decided we would purchase tickets to Magic Kingdom to say that Dax and Bodie made it to Disney World. After we purchased the tickets that night, I then realized that the day after our “Disney Day” we had to get on the road and start our trek back to Kansas City. I told Tyson, that it “worked out perfectly”, had I known that we didn’t have another day — I probably would’ve chosen to take that time to pack up our things and button up the AirBNB. But instead, we had some fun at Disney. Another thing that “lined up perfectly”.
Dax saw the magical castle during the day, and he smiled as he was being pushed around the park. The day then turned to night and Dax was able to see the castle lit up and all of the pretty lights around the park.
We got the kids back and tucked in bed. We packed up and set out our Halloween outfits and made a Dunkin’ stop for our Halloween photo before we got on the road. We dressed up as a family to celebrate and started our drive back. We made great timing getting home — Dax traveled well. We were home a day early on October 31 and Dax was able to get some much needed rest while Bodie tried to figure out where the iPad was to watch Bluey. Bodie doesn’t get much screen time, but when you’re in the car for 20 hours, we needed another form of entertainment!
Friday, November 1, Dax was more vibrant, recognizing home and smiley and using his voice. We were resting and chipping away at getting unpacked. Something in me wanted to wait on a blog post and rest, then find time to recap. Make-A-Wish is such a wonderful foundation to give families the opportunity to make memories, we will be forever grateful for this trip.
Saturday morning at 6 AM things started to take a turn. We were recognizing that Dax was off from his baseline; the patterns on the suction machine were different and he wasn’t tolerating food well. Dax has had days in the past of not tolerating food well, and some days he needed the suction a lot, and other days not so much. We have always been very in tune to Dax’s needs. We knew based on Dax’s cues how to best care for him and support him throughout the day. We did our absolute best to keep him comfortable, be by his side, love on him, and pray over him. Tyson and I spoke about our promise we have kept with Dax: we would always be by his side every step of the way and he would always be in control. We took turns trading off with Bodie so one of us could always be with Dax. Dax fought through the afternoon and made it through the night. Tyson and I continued to hold him and surround him in love.
Dax has always melted in Tyson’s arms since the day he was born. Tyson has a calm/tranquil energy that Dax really gravitates to. Dax has always been very in tune to energy. If Dax needed to relax he would go in his Dad’s lap and snuggle in his arms. Dax was so tired on Sunday morning, Tyson held his boy close on and gave him the comfort he needed. Dax knew he wasn’t alone, he knew he was in the comfort of his Dad’s arms. Dax felt safe, he felt ready, and he felt that it was okay to go to heaven… I think it was meant to be that Tyson was holding Dax as he took his last earthly breath, I think in some ways Dax was trying to protect his Mom.
Tyson and I have always been a team. Tyson held Dax through his transition to heaven, and I dressed my baby boy, swaddled him in a warm cozy blanket, and carried our son in my arms for the last time. No other details will be shared, we are still so numb, in a state of shock and keeping ourselves together for Bodie.
I want to be sure to highlight the timing of our Make-A-Wish trip. We had intentions on getting Dax back to Florida for his 4th birthday, but we were able to go in October! We have always trusted God’s plan, and have held on to our faith. God stirred up the urgency for us to get to Florida. Dax was able to enjoy the things he loved, be with his family, his sidekick Ozzie, and be back in the comfort of his own home. I truly believe that Dax was at peace, like an “Ah… I can go now”. On our trip, I witnessed 3 dragonflies flying around in the front yard of our AirBNB, and I saw a handful of butterflies. And I saw the number “222” frequently; 222 miles to go, it’s 2:22pm, it was 2:22pm on October 22. and in one of the hotels we stayed in, our room number is 222. If you don’t know, 222 is considered an angel number, it can mean to trust that everything is working out as it should and to have faith.
Through the indescribable emotions and with broken hearts, we are still feeling peace. We are forever grateful to God that Dax was in the comfort of his own home with his family, and we didn’t leave a hospital with empty arms. In all that has happened, it still could’ve been so much worse.
We can’t be anything but proud of our boy. He put up a damn good fight. Can you imagine running a marathon each day for over 1,000 days? He almost quadrupled his life expectancy. He was our little wild flower that was able to grow however he wanted, he didn’t need to be shaped, he was and always will be absolutely perfect. He gave us a new perspective on life. He held the answers in our family to give us Bodie. It was always the simple things: the warm breeze, the sunshine, the bright blue sky, and a love that will last an eternity. It has been the most rewarding years of our lives — becoming parents to Dax; we were the only ones on this earth that were able to water him and help him grow, and I think we did phenomenal job. Dax didn’t spend one day in the hospital due to illness. He was able to experience life as normally as he could. He thrived in a warm, loving home with a stable family. He traveled A LOT – dipped his toes in Lake Michigan, The Gulf of Mexico, and the Atlantic Ocean. He enjoyed music, being on the beach, being outside, riding in the car, being held, rocking in the recliner, bouncing in our laps and swinging. He witnessed a solar eclipse and even witnessed the Chiefs winning the Super Bowl twice! He experienced joy.
And as a parent I think all you want is to have a child that is kind, sweet, have a life filled with love, experience joy, and experience all of the goodness in the little things. And Dax was just that — simply the best, the most incredible, miraculous little boy that changed our lives forever. He has made an impact on this earth and has touched so many hearts. So strong, so tough, determined, brave, smart, kind, loving, and absolutely the sweetest little boy with the most joyful voice, the most beautiful eyes, and a smile that was contagious.
Dax completed his mission on Earth, he was in control, and we were by his side every step of the way. We know our bond with Dax will last an eternity, he made us parents. And it’s been an absolute honor.
The Story of Dax Wilder 